Cha Ching!

That's the sound I hear every time I pay for something.  I have a very negative relationship with money.  I'm not sure where it came from, but it's there and I really need to change it.  My ever present thought....."There's not enough money!!!!" (said in a panic/terrified voice....sorta like a horror movie). And honestly people, by "ever present" I mean constantly!  This negative thought cannot be good for me.

Even when we have enough, the bills are paid, the kids are clothed, the refrigerator is full of groceries, I'm still thinking it.  I have had some rocky points in my adult life when there hasn't been enough.  Times when it looked very bleak for us, and I thought we wouldn't make it.  But, now that things are good and we are doing well, I still have these panicked thoughts.  Sometimes they even wake me in the middle of the night.  Is it fear of going back to that time?  Is it the pressure of being the only money maker in our home?  Is it the knowing we will never live in abundance (I'm a teacher remember....that's not the field for abundance)?  Whatever the cause it's got to stop.

I have started rereading You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay.  I'm trying to change my thinking patterns and incorporate positive affirmations.  My first affirmation is going to be about money.  I'm also hoping to change up our budge and try the envelope method.  My thought is that if I have a better handle on our money, then maybe I won't worry about it as much.  My little family is so fortunate to be rich in so many ways....why can't I apply that wealthy feeling to the actual financial part of my life????

My affirmation for the next to weeks: "I prosper wherever I am."